big bites in the balance
bubbles, oysters, raw fish & avocado
I left the house (four times!) without my baby.
This hasn’t really happened in a year. The people I trust my baby with live farther away. The baby is still nursing & sleep looked weird for a few months there.
The stars had to align, is what I am saying.
And they did! They did!
—
First, my husband and I went on a date to Kemuri Tatsuya a Japanese Smokehouse. Tucked into an East Austin neighborhood, dark and impeccably decorated the energy here sets a tone of frenetic broodiness in the best way. I drank a single beer slowly, so slowly. Chicken thigh skewers with spring onion, beef tenderloin skewers on special, tayaki cornbread in the shape of a fish with sesame butter, scallops with corn. I ate at the most leisurely pace. Still hungry, the Guaca-poke hit the table a pile of buttery avocado and tender tuna.
The following Sunday was the second day of the Texas Book Festival and there were two talks I wanted to attend. Smack in the middle of the day, it worked around nursing & nap times. Into an uber I went in a navy blue dress and silver flats, up to the capital, into the building around and down the stairs. I was late, the session was full, they would not let me in.
Back up the stairs. I leave the capital and sit on a bench chatting with my sister waiting for the next session. I get a text from my husband telling me that the broccoli dino nuggets are going well. I listen to two chefs talk about their narrative cookbooks. I am starving (literally) but I am being fed in a different way.
A week later my sister comes to town. She lounges on the couch with the baby monitor as my husband and I sneak out for a second date to Clark’s Oyster Bar. We are seated outside, the night is warm, a cold front due to hit the next day. A glass of champagne, a hunk of sourdough bread, butter, salt and radishes find us first. A dozen oysters follow from Massachusetts, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island. The one named Queens Cup is my favorite. To balance the oysters the shoe string rosemary garlic fries make a glorious mess on the bar. We share the dark chocolate mousse and feel surprised when we get home less than two hours after we left.
I could eat oysters and champagne every day.
Two nights later my sister and I pile into an uber and disembark downtown at ATX Cocina. We are under a time crunch, we sit at the bar. I order a glass of something sparkling from Spain and my sister orders a Mango mocktail. This is the first time I have been out alone with her in forever. We order the guacamole with chips and the snapper crudo in a hibiscus ponzu with little bites of apples and celery ribbons.
My sister and I can talk endlessly and between bites that is what we do. We finish the snapper and the chips. We pay the tab. We walk to the concert venue. We find ourselves third row at The Staves last acoustic show. The woman in front of us is there solo. Before the show starts I watch as she uses the wait to delete emails from her inbox. A motherly urge over takes me as I compliment her on this most excellent use of time - the exchange volleys back and forth. The lights dim. And I think, that is what motherhood has given me.
All I see now are children, and how much we could all be reaching for each other.
They play all the songs I listened to when I was living at home with my parents trying to decide what was next after France a decade ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYV0Wp0MdZ4
—
These big gulps of oyster, and dips of guacamole, and fork fulls of bright tangy hibiscus snapper frame me up in a new way.
I am thinking of who I am in the balance of the world again.
x
Claire Karl
i am hungry now